Single and Fabulous Exclamation Point!

Greetings Letters readers, Robby from Brooklyn here writing to you the day before kids in NYC return to school and classes begin. That is how I categorize the end of summer. Officially, the end of summer is Tuesday, September 22nd; unofficially, to many of us, it was Monday, September 7th – Labor Day.

This Labor Day weekend on Sunday, I attended – as I have many Labor Day Sundays in the past – our annual family clam bake in Sound Beach, NY on the North Shore of Long Island. This is approximately the 80th one after being started by our grandparents. Now my cousins Linda and Laura are keeping the traditions alive. An all-day smorgasbord of seafood including clams, steamers, mussels, lobsters – and fried chicken! Ping-pong and Cornhole tournaments (Laura and I made it to the semifinals!) abound, plus the beach a couple hundred feet away. All in all a great day and tremendous fun was had by all.

BUT this year and this clam bake felt a tiny bit different for me: you see, out of all my cousins in my generation, I was the only single one there. This year it just stood out to me more. Maybe no one else even noticed it, but being single at 50 hits different than being single at 30. It’s hard to put into words, even for a writer, but surrounded by my beloved cousins and their kids, I felt somewhat on my own.

I have always tried to pride myself on being an uber-single gal like Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City.” I mean, there are obvious similarities – we both live in NYC, we both write a column, and we both strive to be “single and fabulous exclamation point.” (SFEP). SFEP was the subject of a classic episode where Carrie gets booked for a cover shoot for New York Magazine about being single and fabulous. But when she sees the final product, it is a horrid photo of her with the title, “Single and Fabulous?” with a question mark. “Single and fabulous question mark,” she says, “I never would have agreed to that. Single and fabulous exclamation point.”

I have been trying to be SFEP for as long as I can remember. Sure, I have had boyfriends in the past; they just never seem to work out. A few have blown up so disastrously I still have the battle scars. It’s my own fault for finding myself alone at 50 – let me revise that. It’s my own fault for finding myself single at 50. There is a difference between being single and being alone.

I never made a romantic relationship a priority in my life. One of my first therapists gave me a visual for life using burners on a stove. He said we have four burners – family, friends, career, romantic relationship. And you can’t have all four burners aflame at the same time. I just focused more heavily on friends, family, career burners.

My good friend Frank, 65, echoes these thoughts when I discussed being single with him. “There’s a profound difference between being alone and being on your own,” he told me. Frank also found similarities between himself and the ubiquitous Carrie Bradshaw, though he was referencing “And Just Like That,” the much-loved, much-hated sequel that just wrapped its three-season run. “I loved Carrie’s reframing solitude as independence rather than loneliness. Like Ms. Bradshaw, I’m not alone in the sad, abandoned sense. I’m on my own and living my best life.” I asked him to expand on that thought, and he continued, “I’ve been single most of my life, but that has never stopped me from doing things.”

“I travel to Europe. I go on vacation by myself, and I have a great time. I love the times when I am dating someone, but I don’t wait around for someone to be with to start living.”

And maybe that is where I have landed at 50. Yes, being the only single cousin at the clam bake made me feel a little different. I can admit that there are moments when I wish I had someone to share things with. Those feelings don’t cancel out all the wonderful things I have in my life. And wanting companionship doesn’t mean I have somehow failed at being independent.

So perhaps I need to retire the question mark from “Single and Fabulous?” once and for all. I may not know what the next decade will bring – or whether there will eventually be someone sitting next to me at the clam bake – but I do know I’m not going to put my life on hold waiting to find out.

There will be more family clam bakes. More vacations. More cornhole tournaments (and hopefully fewer semifinal losses). And if someone happens to come along who wants to join me for all of it, well, that’s fabulous too.

But for now?

Single and fabulous exclamation point!

(this column was originally published in the September column of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.”)

FINDING COMMUNITY!

Greetings. readers. Robby from Brooklyn here, writing to you on a hot, hazy, humid August summer day waiting for a thunderstorm to hit us. They don’t call these the dog days of summer for nothing. Still, even through all the heat and sun and afternoon storms. I’m loving summer in NYC. And since these days are a little tougher on the wallet for me – and maybe you and others – my NYC summer has turned into a staycation.

I unfortunately accepted a job this summer that had a non-competing clause with another company I work with over the school year.(I think non-competing clause is the right phrase lol) For some odd reason the Department Of Education (DOE) would not clear me for this company when I was already cleared with another company. By the time all this red tape was figured out it was a little too late to find me a summer job in education. Still hopeful though for August, you never know when or why something opens up.

Add to that the shit economy we have – as of press time, inflation is up 3.5% over the past year The Core CPI is up 2.6% year over year. Food prices rose 3.0% over the last 12 months and energy prices are up a whopping 15.7% over the past year. Unemployment is at 4.2%, down and gas prices stand at $4.11 nationally. So maybe your wallet is hurting just as mine and maybe you are having to spend August doing a staycation and pushing that European trip to next year. (I did just go on a Mexican cruise in May so I know these are first-world problems – but they are still problems!)

There are so many places to find community in and around NYC. Last weekend I was lucky enough to be invited up to Columbia County in Hudson for the weekend. My good friend, the renowned artist Vincent Pomillio and his longtime husband Bob, invited another friend and me up for a few days Their beautiful house sits upon a creek…with their own personal waterfall!! Idyllic is the perfect word that comes to mind. We met many of their friends, most of whom have lived up their for decades. Vincent succinctly explained to friends and guests that “as we get older, community is more important. Over the years many friends from the city got houses in Hudson. An influx of people in the arts, many of them gay, got houses that needed a makeover. The movement heated up in the early 2000s, the people came from the city so a definite NYC vibe. I feel as if a community of friends all grew here together and I landed in the right spot.” Vincent’s work is showing at the Carrie Haddid Gallery through the end of August if you find yourself in the Hudson area check it out!

Upon returning to Manhattan I met my friend Jack at Flex for Happy Hour. Jack and I met volunteering together at SAGE. (It was originally called Senior Action in a Gay Environment now it just operates as SAGE) Speaking of community SAGE has been providing community and so much more to LGBTQIA+ senior citizens since 1987. Jack also finds community as part of the intramural bowling league. His team – the Backshot Boys – were playing later that night, so I walked him to Frames and kept walking down 9th avenue seeing what community I could find 🙂

This coming weekend – weather permitting – on Saturday I will be going to the beach in NYC – Jacob Riis. If you are looking for gays amongst the sand, ocean and boardwalk you go to Riis beach. It’s lovingly known as Queer Beach. For a visual presentation, check out @riis.beach on Instagram. Continuing with community over the weekend, Sunday is the monthly gay meetup – SECOND SUNDAYS IN CENTRAL PARK.

“On the Second Sunday of the summer months, Sheep Meadow tends to attract an organic gathering of LGBTQ+ folks and friends starting in the early-to-mid afternoon. No agenda, no official event — just sunshine, blankets, friends, and a very good day in the park.” (Second Sundays NYC on Facebook)

Hundreds of hotties in Speedos descend upon Sheeps Meadow meeting up with friends and making new friends. Drinks, frisbees, hackey sacks, cornhole games abound. Perfect people watching. And if you don’t want to hike up to Central Park you can still find community at the Christopher Street piers as gay men have been doing since the 1970s.

Then make your way to the Sunday Beer Blast on the Eagle rooftop to find a different type of community!

OK readers that’s it for me for this month, gotta figure out what I am wearing to all these “community” events this weekend. How many times did I say community in this one column LOL.

Have a great August and rest of summer. Will “see” you in September when I am back in a classroom…wish me luck!

(this column was originally published in the August edition of “Letters from Rehoboth Beach”)

Hot (child) Summer in the City!

Greetings readers, Robby from Brooklyn here writing to you on a beautiful, sunny, warm summer afternoon in NYC. Right off the bat, this column is going to be celebratory – because lord knows we need to celebrate something, anything. So get ready for 700 words of pure joy and happiness!

And there is no better recipient of all this joy and happiness than Miss New York City herself. Summer here is always pretty great but this year is positively electric. Our Pride month of June was off the charts AND the beloved New York Knicks winning their first championship in 53 years (longer than I have been alive!). To call that moment huge would be an understatement.

Another sporting event I am not normally tuned into – is the World Cup. Before the World Cup began, I felt like there really was not a lot of publicity, not a lot of excitement; I didn’t see lots of signage. I did read about the low expectations because hotel reservations in host cities were shockingly low. However, once it did arrive, this city is turnt up. Bars and restaurants packed with excited viewers, many even having viewing parties on the sidewalks, the streets. Revelers wearing their home country jerseys exuberantly celebrating on the subways. Juan, a bartender at longtime Chelsea staple Gym Bar, told me, “The World Cup has united the city in ways I have never seen before.”

This past Fourth of July weekend saw massive celebrations coinciding with America’s 250th birthday – in spite of the sentiment throughout the States these days. (Hopefully, the next Democratic President will hold a 255th USA celebration to make up for the lackluster, pathetic attempt that this corrupt Republican-led Administration gave us.) It also saw a brutal heat wave and the Taylor Travis wedding. NYC is booming.

Many – myself included – are calling it the Mandami effect. WE LOVE OUR NEW MAYOR, Zohran Mandami. All of the Republicans screaming “Socialism,” “Communism,” “Sharia Law,” “All the rich people are gonna leave,” can shut all the fuck up – especially since they don’t live in New York. They might be confusing Texas with New York, as Texas just passed a law forcing the Ten Commandments into public schools – where is all the screaming and pearl clutching? The hypocrisy is unreal.

I honestly don’t care about the words like socialist and progressive when I am voting, just tell me you are gonna fight for the working class and me and not the billionaires and corporations. Like Mandami promised – and has delivered. Just this year, Mandami has achieved:

*He secured $1.2 billion in funding alongside Governor Kathy Hochul to roll out universal child care for NYC families with programs expanding to two-year-olds.

*He recovered $9.3 million in worker and small business restitution and won $34 million on behalf of exploited tenants through legal settlements with bad landlords.

*He launched massive citywide cleanup and maintenance efforts, repairing broken roads, clearing major blizzards, and fixing 100,000 potholes.

*Finally, he passed the Fiscal Year (FY) 2027 Executive Budget aimed at protecting working-class services and addressing city infrastructure by repairing 6,069 apartments. He basically balanced the budget, bitches!

COME THRU MAYOR MANDAMI!

This past July Fourth weekend, I got to spend Friday, July 3rd at the beach celebrating my cousin Ryan’s 23rd birthday. On the North Shore of Long Island, the sand was steamy, the water was cool and clear, and the drinks were flowing. Stayed at the beach so late I missed the huge “Confessions II” release party at Three Dollar Bill in Brooklyn. (Yet another reason for celebration, the new Madonna album is a banger with numerous danceable songs that have the potential to be radio hits.)

Saturday, the night of the fourth, was spent with dozens and dozens of queer friends and allies at a rooftop party to watch the fireworks. Thank you Steve for hosting and truth be told the fireworks show was truly impressive. This is coming a person who usually isn’t impressed by fireworks. I kind of think “You have seen one firework, you have seen them all” (My favorite fireworks moment is Katy Perry performing at Biden’s inauguration all in white with the Washington Monument illuminating behind her. Check it on YouTube if you need a boost.)

Sunday was spent bar hopping throughout Chelsea and the Village, hitting Gym Bar, The Monster, and Tys – Sundays are for Throwbacks. Leaving now to go to TKTS for half-price Wednesday matinee tickets, with too many options to choose from. Top three hopeful tickets we want to get are for the Nathan Lane, Laurie Metcalf, “Death of a Salesman” revival, best musical winner, “Scmigadoon,” and the show of the moment best revival winner “Ragtime.”

All in a week in NYC in July.

That’s it for me this month readers. Hope each and every one of you are having a great summer. As Katy Perry sings “let your colors burst, ignite the light and let it shine.” And find something to celebrate today – you deserve it!

(this column was originally published in the July issue of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.”)

Fake Spring? Not in California!

Greetings Letters readers, Robby from Brooklyn here, wishing all of you a Happy Spring. Finally. I think…is it Spring yet? I know I have waxed poetic and gone on and on about my favorite season – Libra season!!! Now I must swing the pendulum the other way and lament about one of my least favorite seasons – FAKE SPRING! (I am quite certain fake spring didn’t exist in my 20s or 30s lol I am really telling my age writing a column about the weather. 50 and fab! YEAR OF 50, back on!)

Fake Spring are those weeks at the end of March, beginning of April, where for a few days in the Northeast it’s sunny and gorgeous. The highs are in the 60s and 70s. Gays break out the tank tops and short shorts, bars open their windows, and restaurants put some seats/tables out front. The streets are busy, people are smiling.

You go and walk the West Side Highway and check out Little Island. We got to lounge at The Gansevoort Peninsula in Hudson River Park. Opening in 2023 its Manhattan’s first public beach with 1,200 tons of sand, beach umbrellas, Adirondack chairs, a sandy shore and a salt marsh. LOVE IT! After three months of bitter cold, snow and dark days it truly is glorious. BUT Mother Nature giveth – she also taketh away…

Because as quick as that mercury hit 70 degrees, the very next week we are thrust back in bitter cold. And to add serious insult to injury it just feels colder and darker because we had those glorious days of sun. Gays with small apartments and closets don’t switch out your winter jackets and sweaters for the tanks and shorts just yet!

Fake Spring hit harder this year just because everything seems harder this year. By all accounts for most of us it was a ROUGH winter. (Winter was so rough I missed the last deadline for this magazine if you wondered why my column wasn’t in the last issue, no worries readers I am back!) Throw in this batshit crazy Administration in charge and a convicted felon for a POTUS who loves claiming things are Fake, although weirdly we never once discussed Fake Spring, and we have a perfect storm of shit. A shitstorm.

Here is a list of all the things DJT has claimed has been fake in the 10 years he took the elevator down announcing his candidacy – the 2020 election results, the Russia investigation, the Mueller Probe, Mainstream media outlets, the Jeffrey Epstein hoax, the “Border Wall” completion claim,

9/11 Celebration rumors. According to Google AI, “analysts have noted that many of these claims involve the use of large, inaccurate numbers such as claiming to have ended eight wars or that 29,000 Chinese migrants entered in three weeks.”

Funny how we never heard anything about fake elections till the man named in the Epstein Files over a million times lost an election in 2020. Funny how we never heard the term fake news until a twice-impeached POTUS tried to convince his cult like followers that every news story that paints him in a bad light is false. How has this man hijacked 10 years of our lives??

He won’t highack anymore of my column because by the time you are reading this I will be on a big gay cruise sailing throughout Mexico! At the end of April I along with a few other thousands gays will be boarding the newest Virgin ship, the Brilliant Lady. The ship arrived at the Port of Los Angeles on April 6th, marking the first Virgin Voyage cruise season operating from California.

We are sailing with Atlantis Events – the world’s largest gay travel company. My friend Mike and I will be hitting the following Mexican ports – Ensenada, Cabo San Lucas, Puerto Vallarta and Mazatlan. Mike and I have been friends since back in the day when we worked together on Fire Island. Staying in touch even after Mike moved to West Hollywood years ago, we participated in multiple AIDS LIFECYCLES together. A week onboard a nonstop floating gay celebration is exactly what this homo needs to get his groove back – just call me Stella onboard the ship.

By the time you read this I will be celebrating Spring in Los Angeles – a place where Fake Spring doesn’t exist! By the time you read this I will have completed the epic unique hike in LA called the “Bridge to Nowhere.” According to Mike, “Its an iconic hike where you hike up along a river to a giant bridge that goes nowhere…it was built for a highway that was never finished and now people bungee jump off of it.” SIGN ME UP. What can you do, when you are in LA you go on a hike – you can’t fight city hall!

By the time you read this I will be drinking at the Abbey scoping Bravo reality ‘stars!’ By the time you read this I will be sunning myself poolside at a rooftop bar somewhere in WeHo – You can’t fight city hall.

We needed this! And by we I mean me lol. Just as much as we needed “Heated Rivarly” and the Artemis II astronauts we needed a week in LA and a week on a gay cruise. We needed this for Jane Don’t – robbed of the Drag Race crown!

By the time you read this it will be Spring, real Spring, nomore fake Spring readers!!!!! Bon Voyage, Bitches!

(this column was originally published in the May edition of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.”)

WHEN WE RISE!

Greetings Letters readers, Robby from Brooklyn reporting from a jubilant and defiant Sheridan Square Park where the Pride flag has just been raised once again. Over 1,000 people in the bitter February cold shouting “WHOSE FLAG?” “OUR FLAG!!!” as both the rainbow flag and the stars and stripes USA flag now once again flys proudly here in the West Village.

As first reported by Gay City News, “The Trump administration removed a large rainbow flag from a flagpole the National Parks confirmed to Gay City News on February 9th marking the latest example of the President’s broader effort to erase the queer community from the birthplace of the modern LGBTQ rights movement.”

“Under government-wide guidance, including General Services Administration policy and Department of Interior direction, only the US flag and other congressionally or departmentally authorized flags are flown on NPS-managed flagpoles, with limited exceptions,” a spokesperson for the National Park Service told Gay City News on the evening of February 9th. “Any changes to the flag displays are made to ensure consistency with that guidance. Stonewall National Monument continues to preserve and interpret the site’s historic significance through exhibits and programs.”

Longtime queer activist Ken Kidd spoke about the importance of the flag stating, “In 1978, Harvey Milk — one of the first openly LGBTQ elected officials — asked his friend, artist and activist Gilbert Baker to create a new symbol for our movement, replacing the pink triangle that once marked us for persecution and death. Gilbert chose a flag to embody our Pride because he understood that flags carry power.”

Kidd went on to mention the significance of the removal of this specific flag from the birthplace of the modern rights queer movement, “That is exactly why it was targeted — they tried to steal our Pride. We refuse to let Gilbert’s Rainbow be taken; it will not be folded up and put back into a closet any more than we will, because we’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going anywhere.”

This is by no means the Trump administration’s first attack on our community. In fact, during the first 100 days of his second term the attacks on the queer community throughout the country have only intensified. Some of these attacks include more than $800 million in cuts to the National Institute of Health (NIH), including funding for grants meant to study the health of LGBTQ people. Last May the Supreme Court ruled that the President’s ban on transgender troops serving in the military can go into effect while the courts decide a final outcome. The Department of Defense removed queer icon Harvey Milk’s name from a US Naval vessel. And during June, the White House did not acknowledge Pride month. These examples are only a few of the wide and varied attacks our community has suffered at the hands of this second Trump administration.

Michael, a New York City resident for more than 40 years, who proudly attended the re-raising of the Pride flag, said that he felt the need to be here because “now more than ever we need to speak up. We need to prove the point we are equal to everyone else. No compromises. No backing down.” Former Miss Stonewall Fifi DuBois underscored this sentiment declaring, “I came because this is my community and the fact that this happened in 2026 is unacceptable.”

In 2017, the miniseries “When We Rise” premiered on ABC. Created and written by Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning writer of “Milk,” the show chronicled the 40-year-long struggle for LGBTQ equality. This was the first series of it’s kind. (If this is the first time you are hearing about this you are not alone. The ratings for the miniseries were terrible – it bombed, no one watched it.)

The name alone inspires and empowers – WHEN WE RISE. When asked about the name, Black said in an interview, “We all know that we are minorities in one way or another it just depends on how you slice that pie. Every single person has an investment in that we need to make sure our neighbors are being treated equally.”

“RAISE IT UP,” “RAISE IT UP,” the crowd keeps chanting. Watching our Pride flag being raised with hundreds of my queer brothers and sisters cheering, clapping, and some crying was surprisingly moving for this middle-aged gay man. As that flag rose so too did the hopes, dreams, wants, and needs of an entire community.

And as countless queer people have said throughout time for decades, and as Ken Kidd said earlier, “We’re Here, We’re Queer,” and most importantly and most loudly, “WE AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE.”

(this column was first published in the March edition of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth”)

Remember, Remember the FOURTH of November!

Greetings Letters readers, Robby from Brooklyn here, writing to you from a jubilant New York in the days after Election Night 2025! The excitement, energy, and cheers heard as 34-year-old Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani was elected as the new Mayor were electric. Mamdani’s campaign has been rejuvenating the city these past months as he mobilized over 100,000 volunteers – many of them under the age of 30 – “who have carried the message of building a more affordable city directly to the homes of more than a million voters in the most populous city in the United States.” (English.ElPais.com)

On this Election Day, November 4th, are we finally seeing the tide beginning to turn against Donald Trump and the Republican Party? The answer to that is a loud, booming, resounding yes.

On a day that began with the naming of beloved queer icon Johnathan Bailey as People’s Sexiest Man Alive, the stars felt aligned for some Democratic wins. (Bailey made history as the first openly gay man named Sexiest Man Alive – and that honor is well deserved, dude is hot AF.)

But the Democrats did not just get some wins. There was not a blue wave on November 4th – there was a blue tsunami. Democrats won race after race after race.

Over 2 million people voted in NYC – the most since 1969 – and over 1 million of them voted for Mamdani. In New Jersey, Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor, defeating MAGA stooge Jack Ciattarelli by 13 points. In Virginia, Abigail Spanberger was elected to the House of Representatives, defeating Republican Winsome Earle-Sears by 15 points. Spanberger will be the first female Governor ever in Virginia, and in 2025, a record 13 Governors will be women. Additionally, in Virginia, both the Lieutenant Governor and Attorney General flipped seats from red to blue by 15 points.

In a major win for California Governor Gavin Newsom, voters in that state overwhelmingly approved Proposition 50, “a measure that allowed the state to redraw its congressional map in favor of Democrats, pushing back against President Trump’s effort to hold onto a Republican-controlled Congress by urging redistricting in Texas.” (calmatters.org)

Democrats won the Pennsylvania Supreme Court and flipped two Georgia statewide seats by 20 points. Dems weren’t predicted to win in Mississippi. But they did. They broke the supermajority in the Mississippi state legislature and flipped a seat in Texas.

And my personal favorite – the hateful, bigoted, homophobic, Moms for Liberty (M4L) candidates lost 31 out of 31 contested races nationwide. No M4L candidate won a single contested seat anywhere in the United States. Moms for Liberty is now 0-59 in contested school board races since 2023. Lastly, also giving me great personal pleasure, smoky-eyed failed drag queen JD Vance’s half-brother Cory Bowman got demolished in the race for Cincinnati mayor, losing by more than 70 percentage points.

Every single candidate that the convicted felon occupying the White House endorsed lost. We are in the midst of the longest government shutdown in the history of the United States – 38 days as of press time. This beats the old record for a government shutdown – 35 days in 2018 – also under the Trump Administration. I am sensing a pattern here.

Make no mistake, November 4th was a referendum on the now disgraced, twice impeached, 32x convicted felon POTUS Donald Trump. Who would have guessed that sharing a video of yourself literally shitting on your constituents would cause people to not vote for your party? Who would have guessed gutting the Federal Government, firing thousands and thousands of federal workers? Canks is also giving a $40 billion dollar bailout to Argentina, while our own farmers are facing bankruptcy, would cause people to switch party alliances? Who would have guessed that having masked ICE agents abducting AMERICAN CITIZENS off the street and throwing them into a van or sending them, god forbid, to a foreign hellhole like Sudan would cause mass uproar? To this date, 170 American citizens have been detained, handcuffed, and disappeared, some for weeks. THIS. IS. NOT. NORMAL.

All of this is happening as Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is refusing to bring House Republicans back to Washington, DC to do their damn jobs. House Republicans have had six weeks of paid vacation while millions lose their SNAP benefits and our military goes unpaid for over a month. Johnson is refusing to swear in newly elected Arizona Representative Adelita Grijalva, most likely because she will be the 218th vote needed to force a vote on the floor to release the Epstein Files.

Sunny Hostin, the daily MVP of “The View,” has been saying for months that the Democratic Party needs to be the party of opposition. Mamdani seems poised to be the leader we need, proclaiming NYC“will be the light in a moment of political darkness. Together, we will usher in a new generation of change. So hear me, President Trump, when I say this: to get through one of us, you will have to get through all of us!”

The tide has finally turned. The shaky house of cards is about to fall down. Remember, Remember the FOURTH of November.

(**this column was originally published in the November issue of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.”)

IT’S LIBRA SEASON

Greetings Letters readers, Robby from Brooklyn here, bringing tidings and joy on this, the very best season of all the seasons- LIBRA SEASON. Libra season runs from September 22nd through October 21st. This astrological period emphasizes themes of balance, harmony, relationships, and fairness. It also encourages social interaction, negotiation and personal connections.

While these benefits impact all astrological signs, some famous Libras include Julie Andrews, Hugh Jackman, Matt Damon, Zac Efron, Gwen Stefani, Bruno Mars, Avril Lavigne, Hilary Duff, Sting, and yours truly. Libra personality traits include being diplomatic, fair-minded, sociabl,e and artistic with a love of harmony and beauty. Libras are natural peacemakers and skilled negotiators, but can be indecisive, conflict-avoidant, and sometimes prone to superficiality or people pleasing.

I have long identified with everything Libra even having a Libra tattoo on my left inside bicep. Many of my best friends are Libras I get along great with Libras.

Birthdays are bittersweet for many reasons. I am not a huge celebrator of my birthday however it 1000% must be acknowledged. We acknowledge birthdays for the sheer fact that many of our friends did not get to see 40 or 50 or 60. We acknowledge birthdays for those no longer with us. But as far as “its my birthday WEEK,” or “its my birthday MONTH,” no thats not how I roll.

This birthday rings even more bittersweet because I don’t feel like I am where I should be at this point in my life. I don’t feel like I have the same things that many others at the same age have. I am single not in a relationship. I don’t own any property. And when you put yourself up next to others in your age bracket and you have decidedly less it can sting.

At a party a few weeks ago, talking with friends about their twentysomething daughter who was a teacher, and she explained that “yes, I know I am making less than my friends and that I am going to have less than them,” I felt a sense of camaraderie with her. I also explained to her that I felt exactly the same way at 25. But twenty five years later, that same sentiment hits very differently.

And of course, we all know that comparing yourself to someone else is a dangerous slippery slope – but it is human.

I need to flip the switch and look at the glass half full and through a Libra lens. I have worked in amazing schools and met incredible teachers who I have learned from and who, to this day, many I still call friends. I have lived in amazing cities and states and have gotten to travel to numerous continents, each providing enriching experiences.

FAIRNESS

I have been arrested for civil disobedience protesting the availability of guns in this country. I have been arrested at sit-ins at the Supreme Court of the United States protesting how queer people are treated as 2nd class citizens in this country. I have personally raised over $100k for AIDS research, participating in more than 10 cycling events like AIDS Lifecycle and The Smart Ride.

SOCIAL INTERACTIONS AND PERSONAL CONNECTIONS

I volunteer at organizations like God Love We Deliver and SAGE in New York City meeting queer senior citizens and learning from them about what queer life was like in the 1960s and 1970s at the beginning of the queer liberation movement.

BALANCE AND HARMONY

And the most important aspect of this birthday coming up is that it is by no means anywhere near the end of anything. As I like to say – the best is yet to come. If this is middle aged then that is exactly where i am – in the middle. There are hopefully years and years and decades to build that oh so important financial wealth and financial security I am so longing for.

Until then, I guess I am going to have to be ok with the old familiar saying, “You’re rich in other ways,” is going to have to suffice!

Until next time readers, Happy Libra season!

(this column was originally published in the October edition of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.”)

THE FIRST PRIDE WAS A RIOT!

Greetings, readers – Happy Pride Month, everyone. This particular Pride month feels both awful and demoralizing, yet it also serves as a call to action. We are once again in the fight for our lives thanks to the twice-impeached, convicted felon in the White House. Things aren’t just bad, they are horrible. Every day we wake to news that gets worse and worse. It’s this very reason that the Resistance movement needs to be louder, stronger, and more visible. Pride still matters – maybe now more than ever.

Times today are not normal. This is not normal. It is not normal for a five-time draft dodger to ban our Transgender brothers and sisters from serving their country. It is not normal for a gay makeup artist from Venezuela to be kidnapped off the streets by men wearing masks and sent to a prison in El Salvador without due process. It is not normal for Utah and Idaho to ban the display of Pride flags on government property and in schools. (10 other states are now in the process of enacting those same laws.)

These are just a tiny snapshot of the horrors going on thanks to the House, Senate, and White House all being GOP-led. As usual, Republicans have no clue how to run a country. The POTUS has more felony convictions than there are transgender college athletes. More Americans were killed by the horrific tornadoes in Jackson, Kentucky, on May 18th than there are transgender college athletes.

On any given day my emotions run the gamut from heartbroken to pissed off to devastated to hopeful and then ultimately hopeless. I hate to admit it out loud, but I do feel hopeless more than I feel hopeful. And on November 6th, 2024, I felt quite possibly most hopeless I have ever been.

I wanted to be done. I wanted to be done fighting, marching, and protesting. Done making signs. Done fighting for those who continue to vote against their own interests. Done fighting for a country that is never going to give us equal rights. Done fighting for a country that let hundreds of thousands of gay men suffer and die horrible deaths in the 1980s. Done fighting for a country that said “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Done fighting for a country that made us beg for Marriage Equality for decades. And done fighting for a country where “Dont Say Gay” was signed into law in 2022.

I am almost 50 years old. I have been protesting for over 25 years. How many more years do I have to march?

Thankfully, those feelings of hopelessness subsided as winter turned to spring. With each attack on park rangers, scientists, immigrants, and drag queens, it was time to join the fight again. On April 5th, I was one of the marshals at the Hands Off protest. Marshals hold back the traffic, allowing protestors to continue marching. I was awed, inspired, and empowered by the ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND people walking past me. Americans of all ages, genders, and nationalities making their voices heard. The energy in the crowd was electric.

The very first Pride was a riot. This June, the people are taking to the streets to ‘riot’ once again.

On June 7th, I marched across the Brooklyn Bridge with Moms Demand Action, demanding common-sense gun reform. On June 12th, Gays Against Guns held a vigil to honor those murdered at Pulse nightclub in Orlando nine years ago. As a ‘Human Being’, silent and veiled in white, I held space for Paul Anthony Terrell, a 41-year-old father who loved dancing and playing pool. His daughter Alexia had recently graduated from high school. He was one of 49 killed that night by a madman with an assault weapon. Texas is banning weed and porn yet guns are buy one get one free. As of April 30th, there have been 155 mass shootings in this country. This is not normal.

At press time, another nationwide protest – “NO KINGS” – is planned for June 14th. Organizers are expecting more people, more press coverage, more, more, more. The new Pope has scheduled an afternoon mass broadcast worldwide. Cities, including Boston, are hosting Pride on the same day. “TACO Trump” is gonna meltdown at all the attention taken away from his ridiculous 50 million dollar birthday military parade. No one has more disdain or disrespect for our Armed Forces than the five-time draft dodger.

My friend, the renowned artist Vincent Pomillio, 70, Manhattan, relayed to me the feelings of those early Prides, “My 1st Pride March was in 1973. The love in the crowd was so palpable. The March and the Parade were so homespun and heartfelt. There was music and dancing along the route, and the city seemed to be lining up along the sidewalks, cheering us on. Everyone felt that there was change in the air, and we were excited to be a part of it.”

Change is in the air once again! Let’s get loud, let’s get proud.

“You’re Big, You’re Loud, You’re Tough”

“NYC. What is it about you? I go years without you. You’re big. You’re loud. You’re tough.” So sings one of the seminal songs in “Annie,” a musical that has been on my mind lately. Whoopi Goldberg, EGOT winner and host of “The View,” is one of my daily watch shows – ‘GMA’, ‘The Price is Right’, and ‘Wheel of Fortune’ being the others. (No I don’t watch them every day, but I do try to catch every episode. One of my bucket list items is to be on the Wheel!) – just mounted a very successful holiday run of the beloved show. I also watched a quiet, small, very entertaining, and well-done movie on Hulu this past weekend. “Thelma.” It starred June Squibb as a sweet grandmother conned out of $10k. Grandmother aint so sweet as she hatches a plan to get her money back. Her partner in crime is starring as Daddy Warbucks in the production of “Annie” at his senior assisted living facility. It snuck up on me giving me all the feels at the end.

Fun fact: the original “Annie” Broadway royalty actress Andrea McCardle sang the showstopping “NYC” number in the 1999 televised live version. Current Broadway darling Nicole Scherzinger of“Sunset Boulevard” fame played Grace Farrell in this production. The song accurately details my love-dislike relationship with NYC. My past two columns have waxed poetic on my love of NYC since my move back from Fort Lauderdale in December. But don’t fool yourself NYC is hardcore. It is big. It is loud. It is tough.

You’re Big – NYC is mammoth. Every borough is mammoth. You choose your friends by the borough they live in. More than once I have hit it off with someone in a bar or club – whether for friendship or “love” – and in asking where you live if they say the Bronx immediately the relationship ends before it even begins. A sad expression is shared by both as we realize that our love affair ends before it even got started. Geographically undesirable – even when you live in the same city. Heartbreaking. LOL.

Brooklyn itself is mammoth. There are still parts of Brooklyn I didn’t know existed and have never been to. Gowanus, Kensington, New Lots. I just learned about these neighborhoods by doing a Google Search five seconds ago.

When I ran the Brooklyn half marathon it ended in Coney Island. Coney Island is so far from Williamsburg it took me AN HOUR to get home by subway. Imagine running 13.1 miles and having to travel 60 minutes to get back home. In your own city! The number of people lying on the subway floor wrapped up in those silver space blankets was astounding. And hysterical.

You’re Loud – speaking of the subway and speaking of loud – the two go hand in hand. While the subway works amazingly, on time, no issues a solid 75% of the time – those 25% times can be rough. If 25% seems like a high number 23% of that is purely weekend service. Weekend service – in a word – sucks. Multiple delays, multiple slowdowns, especially outside of Manhattan. And we can’t forget the crazies, the lost, and the homeless. And there are many, many, many of them.

Just yesterday a HUGE fight on the platform erupted as one of said crazies screamed up and down “Watch the Super Bowl tonight, the Democratic Party will finally learn. The Democratic Party will go down in flames” etc etc. A few rather large men did not take kindly to that talk – this is NYC bitch – and bedlam ensued. I did not stick around to find out what was happened next. NYC Rule #1 – when shit goes down run away not towards.

You’re Tough – This one is a no-brainer. You wanna live in NYC you gotta be tough. You need a tough skin to survive here. Oddly enough the tougher you are it seems the nicer you are – in my experience. New Yorkers look out for one another. We take care of one another. The toughest part about living in NYC is probably… finding a public bathroom when you are in need! It’s damn near impossible.

Starting January 27th Starbucks will be requiring customers to purchase to use the restroom or sit in seating areas. This is a reversal of the open-door policy that Starbucks implemented in 2018. Just last week I almost burst trying to find a public bathroom. Luckily I was near “my” Dunkin.’ By mine I mean the one I frequent, thankfully the staff knew me and let me use the bathroom without having to buy anything. But guaranteed if it wasn’t my Dunkin’ I probably would not have been let in.

HUGE thanks to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center in Chelsea for one- just existing and two- their public restrooms and non-purchasing requirement policy at their cafe. (I always tip the barista whether or not I am making a purchase.) And if you are ever really stuck- download the FLUSH APP for your phone – it will display the nearest toilets based on your location. See, technology is good for some things!

You’re Cold – this one is obvious and it goes without saying. But we will say it again – Bitch it is cold AF up in here! That’s it. No explanation. It’s just cold. Who has two thumbs and moved back to NYC from warm, sunny Florida on December 1st? THIS GUY!

Even though NYC is “too busy, too crazy, too hot, too cold..” it’s definitely a “TOO LATE, I’M SOLD. AGAIN ON NYC!” for me.

(and thanks for letting me live out all my gay musical theater fantasies in this column! Until next time readers!)

*this column was originally published in the March issue of “Letters” magazine.

THE CONCRETE JUNGLE

Greetings readers, Robby from Brooklyn here reporting on the one-month anniversary of moving back to NYC from Fort Lauderdale. It seems kind of poetic that the snow is falling on this day. The snow is light enough that it is pretty. Growing up near the beach on Long Island I love all things ocean and water. I am shocked at the next sentence I am going to write:

I am much happier in the frigid January NYC cold, and I do mean frigid than I was in the July, August, and September brutal heat of South Florida.

That being said, I am quite happy to report that this has been an EXCELLENT four weeks of assimilating back to NYC life. Professionally, socially, physically, mentally – everything has just been better for me here.

Professionally obviously the job market here is better than in Fort Lauderdale. I was just shocked at how much better. Since December 4th – 30 days ago – I have applied to more than 100 jobs on Indeed. (I would be lucky to apply for 10 jobs a month in FLL.) These range from teaching and tutoring jobs to seasonal and holiday work. I have also applied for remote data entry jobs. (I can type really fast it’s my superpower.) Out of all these applications I have had at least eight interviews with two job offers. Both in education, and part-time. One is working as a substitute teacher for the 241 private, charter, independent schools throughout the five boroughs with the pay nearing $200 a day. By comparison, substitute teachers in FLL made $15 an hour. Big difference. HUGE!

I also got a gig teaching STEAM (science, technology, engineering, art, music) classes to K-5 students after school. This English teacher is broadening his skill set. I didn’t mention the fact that I failed my high school Pyschics Regent test back in the day. (The test was actually after graduation and since I had already committed to an out-of-state school a NY Regents Diploma wasn’t something I needed.) As January continues and schools are starting up again my phone has been ringing more and more – a much-needed boost to my teaching ego.

You can’t be in NYC without taking advantage of the theater. I’ve seen three shows already, tickets all discounted. Today Tix and BroadwayBox.com are two great sites for finding cheaper tickets to Broadway shows. “Hells Kitchen,” the Alicia Keys penned musical was very good, but a very long two hours and 40 minutes. That’s exactly the length of the glorious Wicked movie, which I also saw and loved – even if it was 15 minutes too long. Hello adult ADHD. I also got to see “The Big Gay Jamboree,” and “Eureka Day” both campy, both hysterical. Both the perfect amount of time: 90 minutes no intermission.

I was at a live broadcast of “The View.” a few mornings ago. The luminous Brooke Shields was the guest. For future reference when coming to NYC 1iota.com is where you can request FREE tickets to all of the talk shows that film here like “The Drew Barrymore Show,” “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” “Late Night with Stephen Colbert,” and “The Daily Show” just to name a few.

Socially, my friend group/support system is substantially larger here – and unlike in Florida – constantly growing. Contrary to the stereotype I found people much friendlier, much more open and inclusive.

I got to attend the Gays Against Guns holiday party. Check out our brand new relaunched website at gaysagainstguns.org. A grim fact: The Gun Violence Archive reports that each day in America 118 people are killed with a gun. Those 118 people arent just a number. They are boyfriends, husbands, sisters, friends, mothers, and fathers just gone in an instant. All because of a gun.

I also got to attend my friends Donald and Dennis’s annual Christmas party. The two are longtime partners in love AND business. They own the fabulous Silberfuchs clothing company. Catering to the queer community with shirts, hoodies, hats, and tanks with words like QUEER, SNACK, VINTAGE, and DADDY, the party was literally hot guy central. Speaking of snacks the homemade desserts were FAB!

Finally, giving back is a hallmark in my life, not just during the holidays but all year long. One morning very soon after my move back, I found myself in the Gods Love We Deliver kitchen helping the extraordinary staff and volunteers pack meals for those in need. GLWD has served a staggering 40 million since it opened its doors in 1985! I also started volunteering with SAGE helping to serve dinner to our older queer brothers and sisters. We owe them a huge debt of gratitude. They walked so we could run. And it’s fun!

Well readers that’s about it for now. I am off to explore my city today. I’ve got the new Lianne Moriarty novel with me. I am ready for my next NYC adventure. Like Maleah Joy Moon sings in her Tony-winning performance in the glorious finale of “Hells Kitchen,” “Concrete jungle where dreams are made of there’s nothing you can’t do. Now you are in New York.” I am in New York!

(this column originally appeared in the February edition of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth.)