I consider myself book-smart and street-smart but after living in Fort Lauderdale for 18 months I regressed. In one year I was scammed or bamboozled not once, not twice but three times. Why did I wait so long to talk about this? One reason – online public shaming.

In the span of my writing career, I have been called ugly, old, fat, bald, racist, sexist, idiotic, a fucking faggot, moronic. The list goes on. Yet I have been called hardly any of these to my face. These slurs were all hurled at me by keyboard warriors. And, of course, the ones who attack your looks – for disagreeing with something I wrote – are always the ones with faceless profiles. The vitriol these comments contain is unmatched by anything I have heard before. No one would ever say to your face the things they say to you online.

So before writing this I thought to myself, do I really want to be this vulnerable, this raw, show my many mistakes, my many missteps? Show how wrong I was and how I completely misjudged the situation – multiple times? As cheesy as it sounds if my mistakes can save one reader money or heartache it’s worth it. OK HERE WE GO:

I started “dating” Larry in early 2024. We met online, hooked up numerous times, and went out to dinner at restaurants including La Bamba. I helped walk his two rescue dogs. The construction of his new apartment took much longer than he intended. He asked to borrow money for an Airbnb. We had split any bills we had incurred up until now. Up until this point, I had no reason to not trust him. Mistake #1: 

When it comes to money matters don’t trust anyone you just met. 

Larry borrowed $400. He outlined the two dates – May 15th and May 30th when he would pay me back, even signing an IOU form he wrote. Y’all know how this story ends. Ghosted. And still waiting for that $400. Mistake #2:

A signed IOU piece of paper doesn’t mean jack shit.

I met Patrick, a fellow teacher, through a mutual friend. We clicked and discussed starting a tutoring company. A few weeks later Patrick messaged me asking to talk. His volatile relationship ended. His boyfriend – who he alleged through tears was physically, mentally, and verbally abusive – dumped him and kicked him out of their house. {Sobering fact: The DC Volunteer Lawyer Project estimates 26% of gay men have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner.) This ex had already moved his new boyfriend in. Patrick begged to move into my spare bedroom, “I have rent money but I don’t have money for the deposit, but I promise you I won’t screw you over.” Y’all know how this story ends.

By the time it was for Patrick to move out – I knew rather quickly we were not a match living together – he still owed me back rent money. He also decided not to leave, squatting 11 days. As he was squatting he would cry – yes Patrick was a crier – how could I kick him out I was the only person that didn’t abandon him…as he was actively screwing me over. The irony is not lost on me.

Patrick knew the laws. Since he was there more than 90 days and since he received mail – he technically had more rights than I did. If I changed the locks I would be arrested. If I put his stuff outside of the apartment I would be arrested. Patrick turned out to not be such a nice guy and much of the abuse he alleged at the hands of his ex turned out to be false. Mistake #3

When someone tells you they are gonna pay you back do not believe them.

Finally, and definitely the most embarrassing I was scammed out of $250 through the website Poshmark. I had put some old clothes up for resale and was immediately bombarded with message after message from interested sellers. I was told by multiple sellers that my account wasn’t active and I needed to email Poshmark (red flag #1).  Poshmark – or what I thought was Poshmark – then emailed back saying in so many words I needed to have money in my account through Poshmark to begin selling. The emails had Poshmark logos and seemed legit. Looking back now this does not seem legit at all.

I was told to get a CVS gift card, scratch out the numbers, and upload the image to my Poshmark account. Writing this now yes it seems completely fake and completely ridiculous. But in the rush and the excitement amid the dozen or so interested buyers, it honestly seemed legit. 

When I finally got Patrick out and in his haste to leave (I pretended I was calling the police and he ran like the wind) Patrick left some things behind. These are what I was so eager to sell. I wanted to recoup any losses back. I was a man on a mission. I had blinders on. I rushed to CVS and rushed to upload the gift card.

Almost immediately after uploading I knew I had fucked up. But I do know that if I fell for this scam others did too.

I immediately contacted Poshmark only to be told what I knew, I had been scammed. Poshmark has taken no responsibility and no ownership of this incident. Even after giving phone numbers, emails, and text messages – literal proof – to Poshmark the scammers were still operating on their site. 

In all my dealings with “buyers” on Poshmark, every single person who messaged me played the same game – “Your account isn’t approved contact Poshmark at this email” – 

It all seemed both legit and laughably false at the same time. Not one of the over 3 dozen “buyers” ever amounted to anything. I one thousand percent think Poshmark works with these scammers. Avoid Poshmark at all costs

Robby from Brooklyn is now street-smart and hardened by these losses. He now knows what he should have already known and this is the lesson of the story –

if you lend someone money do not expect it back. 

Robby from Brooklyn isn’t going to be lending anyone any money anytime soon! Until next time readers.

(this column was edited by Rachel Lader)