Greetings from Merida! Ok, so yes I am back in NYC after my vacation touring the state of Yucatan but ‘Greetings from Merida’ is a better opening line. Quick refresher, last time I wrote about my first ever trip as a freelance writer. Same-sex marriage recently became the law of the land in Merida, Cancun, Valladolid, and the surrounding areas.
I was invited to the region on a destination wedding/honeymoon tour with eight other journalists, influencers, and editors. Sights were seen, food was eaten, drinks were drunk, and friendships were formed. It was a really nice five days south of the border, but sorry to disappoint…I did not come home with a husband. Nor do I come home with a nagging desire to get married.
Basically, Merida would love to be the “new” Puerto Vallarta and tap into that billion-dollar wedding market. And honestly, that newness is the biggest attraction the state of Yucatan has going for it at the moment. Gays LOVE discovering the “next best thing.”
Tel Aviv Pride. Iceland. The gays also seem to know what and where is about to blow up and become super popular. Like Samantha Jones said, “First come the gays, then the girls, then the industry.” Merida is hoping that rings true for their tourism and city.
A beautiful destination wedding in a stunning Mexican location, with a small group of friends, is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than a wedding at a venue here in the States. Taking 6, or 10 (depending on how well off my future imaginary fiancee is), friends to a gorgeous locale in Merida, and getting married in front of them does sound nice. Ten does seem like a lot of people. Don’t mention that to my cousin Jeannine who, lovingly, had all the cousins in her bridal party. Twelve. On each side. So yes there were 24 of us. The priest exclaimed after we all made it done the aisle, “Well now that the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games have ended, let’s get you two married!”
We did see quite a lot of venues, haciendas, and luxury resorts. My mind is a little foggy trying to remember everywhere we went. Good thing I still have the itinerary and the photos time stamped on my phone to refresh my memory. Easily, my favorite locale though was the last hacienda we visited, Hacienda Xcanatún by Angsana.
It’s hard to explain why Hacienda Xcanatún by Angsana was my favorite. We can’t help what or who we are attracted to. The staff was remarkably friendly and personable. The grounds were gorgeous without being pretentious. I even envisioned my future imaginary bachelor party at the fabulous, but not grotesquely huge, pool area. Unfortunately, when I inquired about the packages offered, I was told a groom does not come with the deal. Foiled again!
I think I am doing ok without a husband. Better than OK, in fact. As Carrie Bradshaw famously said in a “sex and the city” episode [ok I binged on some beloved classic shows that I have seen many times to get through the never-ending winter in NYC. Fuck you Omicron.] she is “SINGLE AND FABULOUS EXCLAMATION POINT”. Poor gurl ended up on a magazine cover not looking her best with the words “single and fabulous?” Notice the question mark. Not what she signed up for she mused. So like Ms. Bradshaw I too am single and fabulous exclamation point.
I always thought if the whole soulmate, wedding, two kids picket fence thing happened for me it would be amazing and wonderful. But if by some chance it doesn’t, my life will be just as happy and just as full. There are other kinds of love besides romantic love. Gen Y twentysomethings are buying homes with their friends. Whether that is due to astronomical real estate prices as of late or just the want and desire to own a home without having to wait for that future husband or wife is yet to be determined. We love those memes about normalizing “living with your 3 best friends in your 60s.”
I still love my rom-coms devouring them all – “never been kissed’ “notting hill” and “13 going on 30” prob top the list – [can’t wait to add ‘Bros’ to that list when it is released later this year] but I am smart enough to know that’s not how life works. We all deserve the happy ending. Just believing that you deserve a happy ending is a very powerful thing.
But remember happy endings all don’t look the same and my happy ending (come through Avril Lavigne!) might look different from yours. Whatever your happy ending is I hope it happens for you. Mine might include a husband, might include a wedding but it’s definitely going to include a flash mob proposal. OK so maybe life can be like a rom-com!
(this column originally appeared in “Letters From Camp Rehoboth”)
The Gays of our Lives 