The fans of “RuPauls Drag Race” are some of the most passionate, and most vocal when it comes to discussing their favorite queens, who won, who got robbed and who slayed it on the runway. The most recent episode of the current season – SNATCH GAME has become many viewers favorite episode of the season. There have been 14 Snatch Game episodes, each with roughly 8 queens. That means there were 112 performances eligible for this list. As with every list and every award, this list is subjective, based on my opinion (and how the queens fared during the episode). Read, enjoy, discuss – but please keep your comments classy and nice. We are all friends here. #teameveryone

(Queens will be grouped by fives, in alphabetical order.)

HONORABLE MENTIONS (#12-16)

Adore Delano – Anna Nicole Smith

Alexis Michelle – Liza Minelli

Katya – Bjork

Monet Exchange – Maya Angelou

Pearl – Big Ang

THE RUNNER UPS (#6-11)

AQUARIA as MELANIA TRUMP – The season 10 winner and lewk queen snagged herself a Snatch Game win few saw coming with her sendup of FLOTUS Melania Trump. Handing RuPaul a Tiffany box “present” with a SAVE ME note inside started Aquaria off on a high note and she never let up. She had many zingers and all of her answers were political, timely and in sync with the questions asked. “Russian Hooker Urine” and “No wonder my husband hates China so much” were two of her best.

BOB THE DRAG QUEEN as UZO ADUBO AND CAROL CHANNING – The only queen (until Nina West last week) to give fans TWO celeb impersonations during the game, the season 8 winner earned her place on this list and then some. Her lesbian-esque Adubo was good but her Carol Channing was laugh out loud funny. Just ask RuPaul, and if you make Mama laugh – you are good to go! “I havent taken anything stronger than Lipitor since 1986. You can’t get a good buzz off of that!”

BIANCA DEL RIO as JUDGE JUDY – I already hear the gay gasps as season 6 winner (and my all time favorite Drag Race queen) is placed in the bottom half of the top 11. Hear me out before you revoke my gay card!  Bianca tore it up as Judge Judy, but did not have enough material and enough interactions with the other queens to vault her into the top 5. There was also too much Bianca mixed in with her Judge Judy impersonation. Her “beauty fades, dumb is forever” read – hilarical.

CHAD MICHAELS as CHER – You knew it was coming, you were waiting for it. The expectations for Cher impersonator Chad Michaels in season 4 were high and girl delivered on all fronts. The first queen with multiple costume and wig changes during the Game clinched her win with the line “I don’t know why they book on these chicken shit gigs. I’m an Oscar winner!”

JINX MONSOON as LITTLE EDIE – A bold decision to play someone some viewers might not have a reference for solidified a Snatch Game win for the eventual winner of the season.  As stated above, you make RuPaul laugh, you are good to go and Jinx did that convincingly. Throwing a lifeline to the drowning Ivy Winters gave Jinx her best line of the night, “Quite the scandal…with my cousin actually (JFK), it was in all the papers at the time.”
TATIANNA as BRITNEY SPEARS – Tatianna transformed herself into Britney Spears complete with nervous tics, gum chewing and doe eyed naivety.  She grabbed herself the first ever Snatch Game win with answers relevant to Britney and her chaotic life at the time of the episode being filmed.

THE TOP FIVE – HERE WE GO…

ALASKA as MAE WEST –  The All Stars 2 winner won Snatch Game winner tearing the roof off the join with her portrayal of Mae West.  Even for viewers who had no reference for Mae West knew exactly who she was at the end of the game. Telling guest judge and drag race fave Jujubee “I’ve seen you at the free clinic!” HA.  “What are you talking about, I beat around the bush all the time!” #legendary

BENDELACREME as DAME MAGGIE SMITH – Stealing the win from Bianca Del Rio was going to be near impossible but Benda steamrolled the rest of the queens with her Maggie Smith. Guest judge Gillian Jacobs told her she had been repeating her “Excuse me! We originated the language” joke non stop since she said it. She also killed it when she envisioned liqour flavored with “Citrus! Can you imagine that!!”

GINGER MINJ as ADELE – Choosing to play Adele as a somewhat ditzy drunk played off in spades as Ginger tied for the Snatch Game win in season 7. Ginger came prepared with props including awards, and food which she consumed nonstop.  Her answers – genius and. Telling “Suze Orman”, “I love you Justin Bieber,” to “So it’s not a very good song, I probably still won an award for it” had Rupaul in stitches.

KENNEDY DAVENPORT as LITTLE RICHARD – I wouldn’t call it a bold decision for Kennedy to play a male character in the Snatch Game, because I don’t think she realized she wasn’t “allowed” to bring a male celeb to the table.  All was forgiven the minute she opened her mouth. Little Richard was hella flamboyant, but more important, really really funny!  Comparing himself to Batman and Robin saying they all like a “bathhouse with dark rooms and gloryholes…” and giving the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz, “a tight screw because we all like a tight screw” nailed her a win, tied with Ginger’s Adele who Little Richard told “wrong note sugar!”

TRINITY TAYLOR as CAITLYN JENNER – In All Stars 4, they wisely rebooted the Snatch Game as the Snatch Game of Love, with 4 queens at a time vying for a date with an eligible bachelor.  Trinity was miles ahead of every other queen with her Caitlyn Jenner perfecting her mannerisms and political views, telling guest celeb Gus Kenworthy he looked like a “poor democrat.” and “dont touch me” when he went in for a hug!  She also read Valentina’s boring Eartha Kitt, “I find you annoying.”

This past Friday, I participated in a protest with Gays Against Guns to commemorate International Women’s Day. The silent protest, featuring “Human Beings,” was held on the steps of the Bryant Park Library and honored the countless women lost to gun violence in this country.  Human Beings are veiled figures in white who hold placards featuring the image of a person lost to gun violence. It is no secret that gun violence is an epidemic in this country. If you think otherwise, you need to get your head out of your ass, respectfully.

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The first GAG meeting was June 17th, 2016, five days after the Pulse massacre. Attendees united in the realizing that this was no longer acceptable and something had to be done.  They turned their anger and outrage into action. Many victims at Pulse were young adults in their 20s and 30s, out for a night of dancing and celebrating with friends. Bodies of multiple victims were riddled with bullets. A dozen or so were found in bathroom stalls, where they tried to hide, begging the shooter for their lives.

GAG NY is an inclusive direct action group of LGBTQ+ people and their allies committed to nonviolently breaking the gun industry’s chain of death – investors, manufacturers, the NRA and politicians who block safer gun laws.  GAG is NY based but work with GAG chapters in other cities to ensure safety for all individuals, particularly vulnerable communities such as people of color, women and those who struggle with mental health issues, LGBTQ+ people and religious minorities.

A little over a year ago, 17 people, many of them teenagers, were slaughtered at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. Since then, survivors Emma Gonzalez and David Hogg among others have become leaders in the fight against the NRA.  The “March For Our Lives” in DC with over 1 million attending was one of the largest protests in American history. The tide is turning, the war will be won.

GAG members participate in a variety of protests and demonstrations. Their largest action — marching in the NYC Gay Pride parade numbers over 200 attendees. Every 15 blocks GAG members lie down on the street. The “die-in” provides a searing visual of what dozens of people murdered in a mass shooting actually looks like. 59 people were murdered in Las Vegas. By one man with documented mental health issues and violent tendencies, who had access to an arsenal of weapons. 59. Fathers. Mothers. Husbands. Wives. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. Friends. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. FIFTY NINE.

GAG also demonstrated on the 26th of each month outside FedEx. The 26th represented the 26% discount NRA members were given for shipping a gun. The NRA’s influence and power is waning, slowly but surely.. NRA puppets are being voted out of office one by one. A few months ago FedEx finally severed their relationship with the NRA! #GAGforthewin

This past summer I joined GAG on a day trip to Fairfax, VA to protest outside NRA headquarters.  The bus was filled with 30 activists ranging in age from 16 to 70. People from all different backgrounds, young, old, male, female, gay, straight, married, single; all sharing the same goal. Some have been personally affected by gun violence. Many have been politically active for decades. I was honored to hear stories from ACT UP members, stories from the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s. During the round trip bus ride, many of us shared our reason for joining GAG.

I myself spoke about my years as a classroom teacher and the feelings of complete heartbreak, anger and fear I felt after Columbine. After Virginia Tech. After Sandy Hook. After Parkland.  I could not imagine losing any of my students. The Virginia Tech and Sandy Hook shootings followed somewhat the same pattern.  Meaning most of the victims were found in the same two or three classrooms. Once the shooting started, the students in further away classrooms realized what was happening and had time to escape. One professor made sure every student escaped out the windows of their classroom, using himself to hold the door shut keeping the shooter out, ultimately sacrificing his own life so the others could live.  Teacher Victoria Soto hid her students in the bathroom of the classroom when the shooter entered. She too threw herself in front of the shooter trying to save her students. Sadly, the shooter killed her and most of her first grade class.

Heroic teachers in Sandy Hook spent hours with up to 20 students crammed in a tiny bathroom. High school and middle school teachers, like myself, in that situation might not be so lucky. In an active shooter situation if the shooter got into my classroom, there is a 99% chance most of my students and myself would die. There is nowhere to hide there is nowhere to go there is nowhere to run.  A few years ago during a lock down drill, the students laughing and joking – not taking it seriously. I told them “I am not going to die in this classroom because of you cant keep quiet.” I also gave them a 0 out of 4 on their daily scorecard, writing “behavior unacceptable during lock down drill.” Naturally, the students were not spoken to further about it by a guidance counselor or administrator. I, however, was called into the Principal’s Office wanting to know why the students received a 0 and if I wanted to change that score. I did not.

The preferred weapon of choice for a mass shooter is the AR-15.  The amount of bullets an assault weapon shoots in less than a minute is astounding. This is one of the many reasons why assault weapons need to be banned. These are weapons created for war, not for a mentally unstable young white male to use to take out his aggressions on his classmates. In a shocking news report on ABC, a 15-year-old high school student tried buying alcohol, and was laughed at by the clerk. He then tried buying cigarettes. Denied again. Lottery tickets. No dice. Finally he went to a gun show. Walked in, pointed to a gun, said he would like to buy it, and less than 10 minutes later he left, gun in hand.

I will march on Washington however long it takes for the ban on assault weapons to become law. I will use my voice as often, as loudly (y’all know how loud I am!) as I can to draw attention to the epidemic of mass shootings in this country. I am tired of running memorial 5ks in honor of teachers shot in school. The solution is clear as day. As the headline of an article in “The Onion” stated – “No way to stop mass shootings says ONLY country in the world where they regularly happen.”

HEY NRA: GAG IS COMING FOR YOU – YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED! Join us! Straight, gay, whatever… we meet every other Thursday at the LGBTQ Center from 7-9!  We need everyone! Go to for www.gaysagainstguns.net for more information.

Years ago when I was living hundreds of miles South of NYC, close to the Beach, I was having a hard time meeting friends and establishing a friend group. It took me months and months, and funny enough, most of these friends were all transplanted Northerners.  We were a ragtag bunch, but I felt I found in this group people I could count on and people who would be supportive and there for me when needed. The city we were living in was a very transient and very “party” centric. People came and went. One day they would be there, the next they would have moved on. No explanation. No goodbye. I considered myself very lucky to have found this stable group.

My then boyfriend and I competed in a charity bicycle ride. My friends drove my car hundreds of miles, showing up at the finish line, complete with handmade signs. My very own cheering section. My boyfriend was in awe, with the amount of support I received, commenting that he wished his friends had gone above and beyond as my friends had done.

At the heart of this group was a gay couple in their 30s, Keith and Billy, together for more than 10 years at this point, and my co-worker and roommate Lori.  Looking back on this core group, even though I had introduced everyone, I was definitely the odd man out. Lori, Keith, and Billy were thick as thieves. Keith and Billy gravitated more towards women than gay men.  Fortunately, I was very comfortable with my “odd man out” status as I had cultivated a larger group of friends as well, consisting of gay men, co-workers, intramural sports teammates, workout partners, past tricks, etc.

One negative quality of our group was the way we talked to each other. We all had fun ribbing each other and “coming for each other” as the gays say it now.  However, it usually went too far…and it usually was directed towards me. More than once I voiced concern acknowledging that our good-natured joking had gone a step too far. Most times it would end but often there would be remarks of “stop being so sensitive” or “calm down, we are only joking.” Although I’d preferred an apology, I’m tough, we were friends, it wasn’t really that big of a deal…Or so I thought.

Fast forward a few years later and this once stable group was hit with the city’s transient effect.  People moved, friendships evolved, some grew stronger and some faded away. Lori had moved back to her hometown and I had moved about 30 miles north.  Keith, Billy and I lost touch. Then, in November 2012, my mom passed away. That June I moved back to NYC for good. I had not talked to any of them in over a year, although I did see Lori when she came to my mother’s wake. (She was living back on Long Island).

The next few months, as imagined, were unbelievably difficult. Living with Dad back in the family home there was a black cloud of sadness that enveloped both of us. Slowly but surely the cloud grew smaller as the weeks slowly turned into months. I felt that I had turned a corner. (Which was false, as you can never really turn a corner mourning the death of a parent.)

Cue a snow day at home! Always guaranteed to put a smile on my face. Getting to watch rom-coms or Bravo or “Price is Right” all day!  However, this particular snow day took an unexpected turn when I started getting weird text messages. Things like “hey you’re Robert…you’re a teacher right?” “Hey, Teach can you teach me [something perverted or dirty?].  All of the messages had pretty much the same area code. I called my friend Jack and explained all these weird messages…Jack then seemed to have a sudden flashback exclaiming “Oh fuck! Keith and Billy stopped by my work, super drunk and on their way to the bars.” We pieced together some information that hadn’t made any sense at the moment but together provided an overall narrative of what was happening.

Keith and Billy had written my name and phone number on the bathroom wall of some gay bar. Class all the way with those two. By this point, I had not even had contact with either of them in close to two years.  Their actions were weird and random. What type of person does this? I called Verizon and within 10 minutes had a new phone number, and a highly coveted NYC 917 number, which I had heard wasn’t possible anymore. I should have sent them a thank you card.  In the years since I have spoken with Keith, he’s apologized and that was that.

Fast forward to this January. I was at my dad’s house cleaning out some closets and found a box of old pictures. There was a really nice one of me and Lori at a friend’s wedding. In the spirit of the New Year, and wanting to mend fences/reconnect, I had sent her the picture through an Instagram Direct Message. I wished her well, wished her family well (she is married with two young children now). I also said give my best to your family (her mother and sister were always very kind to me).  She replied with a snarky “Who is this?” then thanked me for the picture and said, “since you sent one it is only fair of me to send one also…” And then this picture appeared:

This is a pic of the evidence from six years ago that proves Jack and I were indeed right about those strange, inappropriate text messages. After the initial jaw-dropping, I quickly blocked her. This girl has kept that pic for six years, taking pride in her cruelness.  On the one hand, her commitment to this practical joke could be applauded. On the other hand, I can’t believe I ever considered this person to be one of my best friends.

I am by no means a saint and by no means an innocent bystander in relationship failures.  I have royally fucked up friendships that I regret to this day. If I could take back my mistakes I would in a heartbeat, as I know how bad it feels to be on the other side. I have been royally fucked over by friends.  I have been heartbroken by guys I thought I loved and I have also left a trail of broken hearts in my wake. I realized too late who were just “party” friends, and I underestimated people I considered “party” friends when they showed me that they were damn good people who I now consider lucky to be in my lifeboat.  

That being said, not once, have I considered any form of revenge or retaliation after a relationship ended. No matter how upset, angry, heartbroken, crushed I am, my thought process never gets to that point.  In talking about these latest developments with my friend Raquel, she succinctly laid it out quite clearly, “There is nothing you could have done differently, nothing you could have done to them that warrants what they did to you. You did not deserve this and it quite frankly has nothing to do with you. It’s a reflection of her character. End of story.”  And that’s it in a nutshell. Some people are nice, some people aren’t. Lori is not.

But I will still remember and focus on the overwhelming number of good times we had. The laughs. The great memories. I don’t dwell on how we ended and what happened. I’m ok with that. Call me “Miss Congeniality” if you must; I already have the sash in my closet!

@copyrighted February 21, 2019

It’s no secret, I love reading. I love books. I love literature. I am always reading something. I love sharing books with friends. I love being in a book club. I loved teaching high school English, loved trying to instill in my students a love of literature. (How many times can I write love in one paragraph!)  Side note, two novels I did NOT love teaching were “1984” and “The Scarlet Letter” – not every American student from now until the end of time needs to read exactly these books. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of books that can be added to the “required high school reading” lists.

Some of my favorite authors include John Irving, Tom Perotta, John Green, Armistead Maupin, David Sedaris. Also love a good beach read from Jane Green or Lianne Moriarty.

If you are looking for your next great GAY read, check out this, by no means exhaustive, list. Many of these titles have been made into movies or television shows, you know the drill – read the book first, then see the movie. The book is always better! (“Gays of our Lives” providing hours of entertainment!) Happy Reading! #readersrock

“Tales of the City” – Armistead Maupin – This book should be handed to every gay man once they come out of the proverbial gay closet. Numerous novels in the series depict San Francisco in the 1970s and 1980s as seen through the eyes of the residents of Barbary Lane. Maupin continued the series a few years ago adding three new novels to show his characters as they grew older and “wiser!”.  The Netflix reboot airs later this year with Laura Linney returning to play Mary Ann along with new cast members including Ellen Page and transgender actress Jen Richards. (Also of interest: “Logical Family” Maupin’s autobiography released in 2017.)

“Like People in History” – Felice Picano – If you are looking for an epic gay novel spanning decades then this is the book for you.  Two gay cousins become best friends amidst the backdrop of historic gay milestones. Set primarily in Greenwich Village, the story moves from San Francisco to Fire Island as the characters witness the modern day gay rights movement begin. One of the first books that I truly saw myself mirrored in the lives on the characters.

“Flesh and Blood” – Michael Cunningham – Another epic family saga, this time a close knit Greek-American family on the Lower East Side of NYC. Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Truth be told, I was never a huge fan of Michael Cunningham but I am huge fan of this book.

“Boy Meets Boy” – David Levithan – Yes it’s technically a YA book, but don’t let that stop your enjoyment from discovering this modern day gay rom-com classic. Words are words, books are books whether the intended audience is an adult or a teen.  The YA genre is churning out book after book where the gay characters are the main characters, not the funny sidekick, or the sick nobly suffering AIDS patient. The gay characters are multi-dimensional and being gay is NOT the main problem of the story.

This book was the first book I read where two males fall in and out of love with all the hijinks of a “Notting Hill” or “27 Dresses.” (See also: “Two Boys Kissing” and “Wide Awake” from Levithan. His catalog is huge and filled with story after story of cute, charming gay love stories.)

“The Great Believers” – Rebecca Makkai – Devastating. Alternating points of view weave seamlessly together in this story centering on the early days of the AIDS epidemic in Chicago. Have tissues ready.

“The Perks of Being a Wallflower” – Stephen Chbowsky – Another modern day classic. If you haven’t read it by now, stop what you are doing and immediately read this book. Some might wonder as to why this book is included on this list as the main character doesn’t identify as gay.  However, the themes of bullying, depression, loneliness are all too familiar for a closeted gay teen. The novel is at its core uplifting even through all the tragedy. A stellar film version starring Emma Watson only makes this novel even better.

“The Object of My Affection – Stephen McCauley – Yes, I admit I do love the 90s movie starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston. But I loved the book years before the movie came out. McCauley, an out and proud gay writer penned this oh so familiar tale of the gay man/straight female best friend relationship, elevating it with sharp wit and beautiful prose.  (See also: “My Ex-Life” and “Alternatives to Sex”)

Michael Thomas Ford novels – I say this with love and no shade, Michael Thomas Ford is the Danielle Steel of gay literature. Soapy romantic escapades ensue in his novels, many set in the gay summer destination of Provincetown, Massachusetts. Grab one of his books, some suntan lotion, a beach umbrella and lose yourself for hours! Popular titles include, “Changing Tides,” “What We Remember,” “The Road Home,” “Full Circle.”

“Hero” – Percy Moore – Also technically YA, this book passed through the hands of every person in our vacation house one summer. The story of a young gay superhero trying find both his superpower and his place in the world speaks to the superhero inside all of us! Inspiring and Empowering!

“Making Gay History” – Eric Marcus – KNOW.YOUR.GAY.HISTORY.

For more gay themed literature check out David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Patricia Highsmith, Oscar Wilde, Christopher Isherwood and many many others!
HAPPY READING!

Let Me Tell You A Story….

Picture it! Fort Lauderdale, Florida, November 2018.  A tired, uninspired, anxious attorney knocks on his managing partner’s office door to deliver the news 20 years in the making:

“I’ll be leaving the firm, and the practice of law, in December.”

It was a surreal moment for me, one i dreamt of for years but was scared to death to actually make happen. In that moment weight lifted, stress evaporated and I knew, finally, that I deserved to live the life I wanted to live after years of living the life that “was expected of me.” 

I refused to wait. I had finally decided that I would not let any insecurity or fear keep me from realizing my dreams. No more second guessing, it was time to make it happen.  I have launched my personal trainer fitness and nutrition consulting business, Greco Fit (follow me at @grecofit and www.grecofit.com) and I am in the middle of a two month solo travel excursion through Europe.

I have never traveled alone, and never for two months.  This trip has brought me places, geographically and emotionally, that I never knew I’d go. The first two weeks were difficult. I was by myself in cities I’d never been to. It gets dark by 5 p.m. I’m an introvert by nature, so it’s very easy for me to just scurry back to the safety of the apartment and watch Netflix instead of exploring the unknown. But I could feel my soul pushing me back out into the world.

I quickly discovered that you are constantly surrounded by people, many traveling with friends and also by themselves.  Every city I’ve been to has free walking tours if your budget doesn’t allow for paid ones, and you’ll meet tons of people everywhere you go.

Part of my travel includes going to gyms in the cities I’m visiting to interview trainers and shoot video for my own business and of course to workout for myself in between drinking wine and eating pastry! I have discovered that the fitness community around the world is so kind and welcoming that you meet people from all walks of life on the gym floor. We’ve met for coffee, had lunch, worked out together and they’ve given me insight into how to live like a local.

Solo travel has given me the ultimate freedom. I wake up and it’s just me — what I want, where I want, when I want. In that freedom and infinite space of possibility, you meet yourself.   You challenge yourself to push past fears and doubts and find these you come out the other side stronger! There’s no one to pull you in any one direction or override your reasons. Want sushi? Get sushi. Want to leave? Leave. Want to try bungee jumping? Go for it. And yes, some afternoons are still “Netflix and chill” and that’s perfectly fine too.

I think, for me, that is the greatest reward of solo travel: the personal growth. I am learning to be more independent, confident, and in tune with my emotions and desires.

Don’t wait for other people, don’t hold yourself back from living your dreams. There’s only now — and if you don’t go, you’ll regret it. Live your life for YOU, and it will be remarkable.

“All Asian kids are smart.  All blondes are dumb. These are stereotypes. We all know they aren’t true. Not every Asian teen is in the Math Club or AP Physics. Not every blonde girl is ditzy. Obviously. But still the stereotypes exist and the jokes are told. And people laugh. I would like to use this blog to publicly acknowledge that I too have been a victim of cruel stereotypes. I know this blog is a safe space where I can finally once and for all share my story.

Gay men are all neat, stylish and experts in things like interior design and fashion. This is a vicious and damaging stereotype that exists in the world.  For years I have done a terrible job of trying to hide the fact that I am not neat. I am not stylish. I have no idea what throw pillow would match my couch. How was I supposed to know that you don’t wear a brown belt with black shoes? I must have been absent at Gay Orientation the day they covered those topics. I was probably at the gay bar for Happy Hour for a different kind of Gay Orientation!

Now I don’t want to paint this disgusting, horrible picture of me in your head. When I say messy/not neat I refer to clutter more than filth. My apartment is by no means a dump but it is also no where near spotless.  There are not piles of dishes in the sink, there are not weeks old Chinese food containers in the fridge. I have never once seen a cockroach in the apartment I have lived in for the past five years. My friend Jessica* comes over once or twice a week and she has never once told me the toilet was too dirty for her to use (my definition of what constitutes “dirty” is obviously very low!). BUT there is clutter. In lots of different places throughout the apartment.  Books piled up that I will never get around to reading. Old magazines on the coffee table. Unopened mail on the kitchen table. CLEAN clothes on the side of my bed that I don’t sleep on, and yes an unmade bed.

Case in point, I had friends over for game night on Saturday. More than one person texted me Saturday morning to “gently” make sure that I was cleaning and scrubbing the apartment before they arrived. A GIF of Cinderella was also shared.  I did have to ask one friend what cleaning products I should purchase. He didn’t find that question reassuring. Yes the apartment was spotless when the party began. Come Sunday morning it was once again a disaster. So I had to clean it. Again! Seriously?!?!? Cleaning is exhausting!  (To add serious insult to injury, I think the marathon cleaning had me off my game for Game Night, I came in pretty much dead last during “Whats your Meme” – NOT OK! As everyone was winning rounds, I was still card less and moments away from flipping the table New Jersey Teresa Prostitution Whore style!)

There is a small group of people who do consider me neat and put together. I value their opinions tremendously and question their judgment at the same time.  One morning at an offsite workshop a few teachers from my school were sent to, one of my coworkers (straight older married male) asked me if I had hand sanitizer. This question stumped me like no other, I repeated “what?” prob a few times. No one in my 30+ years has ever asked me that question, nor do I think I myself asked anyone else that question. I asked him, “Do I look like someone that carries travel hand sanitizer?”  And he replied straight faced, “Yeah you are always so neat and well dressed and put together.” A third teacher with us, one who knew me better told him “What are you on crack or just blind!” In the re-tellings of this story many friends still to this day believe I fabricated the entire story because they cannot envision anyone giving me that compliment! #alltrue #purelme

Even one or two family members would describe me as neat! I invited 3 of my cousins to brunch at my apartment one Saturday afternoon. Twin sisters Kimberly* and Lily*, and Nicole* were set to arrive at noon. Nicole* misjudged travel time and arrived somewhat early. This being Saturday morning, I am pretty sure the apartment was in less than immaculate condition. I also had barely been awake an hour when the doorbell rang. Nicole* and I caught up over snacks and mimosas while waiting for the twins to arrive, who by this time texted they were running a few (30-45) minutes late. Even though they were late, they showed up with all the ingredients needed for a Bloody Mary bar! (Wow! Is this what adults bring when invited places? Well done!) Sometime during our brunch Nicole* pulls the twins aside to gently ask them, “Did you guys know Robert was a slob?” “Um yeah we’ve known that for years!” they both assured her.  Even as we were group texting this week when I told them about the blog post Nicole* said, “but you are always so neatly dressed and put together!” Bless her heart, at least I fooled her! Kimberly* and Lily* not so much. One out of three ain’t too shabby. #thirtythreepercent

Finally, this rumor of my non-cleanliness lifestyle even spills over to group trips or rented beach houses. For some odd reason, and maybe I am completely imagining it, but it seems like I am always the last one picked when it comes to choosing roommates! There have to be logical explanations for me maybe being chosen last, like — after years of teaching, I tend to be an early riser some mornings. But I also like to read late into the night, or go out to the bars late at night!  (Its either one or the other though, if I am rising early, there was no way I was up late into the night!)

I also have pretty lame and generic tastes in music.  One multiple occasions I have been told, “whenever I hear “Torn” or “Unwritten” I immediately think of you!”  I love hearing that! Those are definitely the reasons! Not the fact that past roommates have shown me the closet and the dresser repeatedly as if I have never seen them before, going so far as to give me step by step demonstrations on how to use them. It can’t be the fact that one roommate was astounded as to how the contents of my luggage seemingly exploded all over our room when we had literally just arrived five minutes earlier. No not those. Definitely the early rising and Natalie Imbruglia.

I am (kinda) a slob. I admit this. And acknowledging your problem is the first step.  I know I am not alone. I know there are more of us gays our there! This is 2019 and you don’t have to be afraid anymore. We can join together and share our experiences and provide much needed support. I will volunteer to host the first meeting at my place.

At least I know I won’t have to clean the apartment!  (That “Tidying Up” chick from Netflix is definitely not invited!)

*all females in this story were given the opportunity to choose their FBN. Fake Blog Name!

@copyrighted January 17, 2019

Awards season 2019 began with Sunday nights telecast of the Golden Globes. And as much as we all know awards, award shows and end of the year lists are completely subjective I thought I would throw my hat in the ring and write about my top television shows from the past year. (Plus for the past few weeks I have written about my failed romances this week needed a lighter topic to write about!)

This is not a top movies of the past year list because I have not seen enough of the Oscar movies yet to compile a list. Definitely want to see “Vice,” “If Beale Street could Talk,” and “A Star is Born.”  

(shows appear on the list in no particular order)

GLOW – Even though I gave the no particular order disclaimer, GLOW is my #1 favorite show from the past year. Season one was really really good. Season two was PERFECTION. The show doubled down on heart and emotion and nostalgia and crafted a seamless season of episodes.  The group of “misfits” reclaiming their voices and doing things their way resonates loudly in 2019. From Rose taking the lead in directing and producing, to Debbie raising her baby as a single mom and Bash gingerly stepping out of the closet, the show has so much HEART.  Storylines also touch upon themes of racism, class inequality, sexual harassment and the early stages of the AIDS epidemic. Cannot wait for season 3 as the ladies make their way to Vegas.

GREYS ANATOMY – Now before you stop reading this post because of the inclusion of the long-running soapy medical drama, you should know, it is STILL the highest rated show on ABC! Which means millions of us are deeply invested in the lives of the doctors and Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.  And for good reason, week after week this show delivers the goods! Cast members rotate in and out, the new crop of interns slowly became part of the larger ensemble and the storylines are timely. Last season alone had episodes centered on the DACA crisis and the Me Too movement, with the venerable Harper Avery Awards being taken down under a cloud of controversy! Throw in a coming out storyline, characters battling addictions AND brain tumors, plural! There’s a reason Ellen Pompeo is making $20 million this year. Not bad for a show in its 15th season!

QUEER EYE – UGLY CRY. EVERY EPISODE. I love it. I love them. I want to be their friend. I want to go out drinking with them. I want them to makeover my wardrobe and apartment. More importantly, they seem to genuinely care about and want the best for the people they are working with. (And if it’s just acting for the camera, all 5 of them deserve Academy Awards!)  On first glance I thought over the top Jonathan would grate on my nerves, now he’s my favorite – “Yassss queen, work, do it, you’re gorge, I am here for it!” he proclaims! I am here for this reboot.

YOUNGER –  Liza is my hero! This Williamsburg (love seeing all our neighborhood hangouts in the exterior shots!) set comedy revolves around a 40 something divorcee pretending to be a 28 year old millenial to get back in the job market.  Created by the same team behind “Sex and the City,” the show also focuses on female relationships and New York City. Liza’s secret has been out for a season or so but that doesn’t stop the action moving forward. The show could stand to lose her annoying, rude college age daughter though.  Add to the mix two VERY HOT love interests and Debi Mazar as her best friend and roommate, sarcastic lesbian Maggie and its comedy gold. Did I mention Hilary Duff is in it as well!

DIRTY JOHN –  Anything with Connie Britton in it automatically qualifies as a must see in my book (RIP NASHVILLE).  Bravo’s miniseries based on the well known podcast is like a car crash you can’t take your eyes off! Whether you are dumbfounded as to how this beautiful, intelligent, very successful woman married this creep after 2 months, amid huge red flags, or you are ALMOST feeling sorry for John after seeing how he was raised, (calm down I said almost!), it is an addictive guilty pleasure.  With only 1 episode left you know something really bad is going to happen…

RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE – you knew it had to be here! How can it not when week after week these girls leave everything on that main stage! The GIFs alone from the show are reason to watch.  Each week the contestants give master classes in acting, singing, dancing, lip synching, costume design (well not all of them are masters…) No other reality show on tv expects as much on a weekly basis.  With a strong NYC showing year after year, including past winners Aquaria, Sasha Velour and Bob the Drag Queen, try to find a bar in NYC not playing new episodes live week after week. BRING BACK MY GIRLS!

MOM – LAUGH.OUT.LOUD.FUNNY. Sometimes you just need to laugh. And “Mom” brings the funny. Allison Janney deserves all the Emmys she has won for this show and any more that decide to give her. This season, Kristen Johnston joined the cast as lovable newly paroled Tammy and the show is even funnier, if possible.

THE MINDY PROJECT – A sweet rom com week after week, and another NYC based comedy. In the final season, Dr. Mindy Lahiri found her happiness and her happy ending. The trip there were after week was well worth the time invested in the show.  From wise-cracking nurses Tamra and Collette, to fellow doctors Jeremy, Anna and Jody everyone had moments to shine as the show nicely wrapped up all the major storylines.

THE MARVELOUS MRS MAISEL – I did it. I drank the kool-aid and gave in. And I loved it. The first season was pretty damn good. I think the Marketing and PR team should be fired though. Watching the commercials and advertisements for the show, I had no desire to watch it the ads really missed the mark on what the show was about. However, after numerous friends told me how great it was and how much I would enjoy it I gave it a shot. Final moment of season one where she loudly proclaims her stage name – WELL DONE!

NETFLIX SHOWS AND MOVIES – (ranked in order!)  Atypical. Grace and Frankie. Santa Clarita Diet. Ibiza. Like Father. Nailed It. Bird Box. Friends from College. Kimmy Schmidt.

As you can blatantly see I tend to shy away from overly violent, dark, gory shows. The real world is scary enough. I have no problem gravitating towards lighter fare in my entertainment. Sunshine rainbows and unicorns…well maybe just a happy ending. I don’t want my favorite television characters getting chopped up into little pieces. Or beheaded at a wedding. Marriage is tough enough (or so I am told)